Posts Tagged ‘Dave Ursillo’

How Yoga Will Keep Your Heart Open

by Lori Mancini in Uncategorized with No Comments

Dave Ursillo (RYT-200) teaches Mondays at 6:30 PM and Tuesdays at 12:15 PM at Laughing Elephant Yoga.

First, life breaks you.

That’s just what happens.

We meet suffering through loss, trauma and shit that we never really deserved. We get our hearts broken.

We put the pieces back together. We fight on.

That’s how I learned about heartbreak. I never had a really rough life, but as I often say, suffering is not a competition. Each of us experiences our own suffering in our own ways. Even if we compare one heartbreak or loss to another, not one ounce of suffering can ever be compared to another’s. My heartbreak might be your stubbed toe. It’s always a matter of perspective.

Before I found yoga, my “ounces of suffering” included deep-seeded questions on the meaning of life, youthful heartbreaks and a quarter-life crisis of identity that spun me into a depression. That depression inspired me to quit my job and abandon my career altogether. I had been working at the Rhode Island State House and ought to have been enjoying a promising young career. But I was suffering. And my body told me the rest of the story.

Spun into mild depression and occasional anxiety attacks, I came to realize that my head, heart and soul were speaking to me in union, saying, “This is not your way. Not your path. Not your purpose.”

In yoga we might say that I was not living my dharma.

I left my career in 2009 to become an author. Five years later, I have four books under my belt and have been published in five others. I travel to teach writing and creativity workshops and have worked with more than 80 artists and entrepreneurs to help them cultivate confidence and creative energy around their goals and dreams. But I’m not sure I’d be where I am today if I hadn’t taken up yoga nearly three years ago.

I came to yoga to find strength within my own body. I wanted to experience community. I wanted to deepen my connection to spirituality and have a personal practice that, much like my writing, empowered me to cultivate the sense of self-awareness that is so crucial to living well.

In the last year, I’ve discovered a new purpose for yoga.

I believe that we each are meant to live, breathe, speak, work and create from a state of being so openly loving, compassionate, understanding and forgiving that we might as well imagine it like we’re living with our hearts torn wide open. I call it “heart-opening.” Not heart-break, but heart-open.

Sometimes the two feel one in the same. But pain is not just pain, and suffering is not just suffering. Every person who I’ve ever known has had critical moments of heart-break, loss, pain and suffering that have completely transformed them from who they once were to who they now are. They were reborn by the flame and emerged tattered and torn, but suddenly carrying incredible and unapologetic senses of presence, self and truth with them.

I’m not sure how and when it happens, but I believe that for all of the “breaking” and suffering we might endure in our lives, it all serves a purpose: to break our hearts open, and so we begin to live from a place of love that is vulnerable, raw and remarkably liberated.

When you live heart-open, you live true to yourself, your desires and your life’s purpose.

But wouldn’t that mean that we’d have to have for horrible things to happen to us to live from such a place of loving kindness?


Instead, we can turn to daily practices like yoga that help us break ourselves open to a state of self, truth, presence and community.

Yoga is an experience of self, and it is one way to pursue the feeling of total unity or universal “yoking” through asana (physical poses), pranayama (breath retention), and other yoga-based practices. We take the time to do yoga and to “live” our yoga to reconnect with the universality that we’re all connected to, but often forget.

We feel heart-open upon the mat when our favorite teacher comes by and gives us a helping hand to deepen our physical expressions. We feel it in hugs at the door, running jokes with yoga-mat neighbors and in that beautiful song that vibrates through us during savasana.

When we go to yoga, we go to break ourselves open. Heart-open.

There, immersed equally in sweat and our true selves, we peel worries, fears and hesitations away from our chests to bear a scary but resolute determination to love, to be our best selves, and to better the lives of those around us in some way, shape or form.

Life starts by breaking you. That’s how we meet suffering for the first time. At some point, we may be lucky enough to experience what it’s like to emerge from the flames with our hearts not broken, but open.

On any given day, yoga is one way that we can “break ourselves open” to a state of love that we can experience again and again. It takes sweat, being “seen” or feeling a bit  vulnerable, and looking hard at yourself in the mirror. Those can be pretty tough. But when we’re on the mat, we can tap a source of love that’s within, without having to endure pain or sorrow.

When you choose to live heart-open, you may well choose to leave “heart-broken” behind, altogether.

Dave Ursillo (RYT-200) teaches Mondays at 6:30 PM and Tuesdays at 12:15 PM at Laughing Elephant Yoga.

Be Present

You know when an idea gets in your head and you can’t quite shake it? And the Universe keeps hitting you over the head with that idea until you have an ‘aha’ moment?

That’s what happened to me this week with this idea: Be Present.

The concept has been needling me for weeks, and I thought I was being present. Ha. Not even close.

I had just gotten off the road after a long and difficult tv weekend and was exhausted.  I was  talking to Nuggs when I mentioned how hard it was to ‘just be’ and said that I had mind clutter. That wise old soul informed me that I wasn’t quite grasping the concept.  It meant truly being in the moment: stopping to not only smell the flowers, but to actually see them. Investigating what is flopping around in the surf (in Debbie’s case a sand shark!). Truly listening to a friend when she says she feels neglected.

Two days later our new yoga pants came in, from the fabulous company Be Present. On their tag was this definition: to exist in the current moment. to be inspired by life. (Amy, who owns this Colorado company, you are brilliant).

I realized I hadn’t gotten it at all. That I  had been wishing time away, glued to my phone, or computer, and telling myself if I can just get through this week. I was the road runner who suddenly came to a stop and was still vibrating. I wasn’t seeing what was in front of me and suddenly feeling like I had missed out on a whole lot. I needed to switch gears and slow down. So I got on my mat and moved. I engaged with our community, walked the dog at the dog park, and went to the yarn shop because I needed to feel more like a girl . I took the time to meet  Nuggs, SOA, and Sharon at Meritage, where we laughed into our drinks.

We all have moments of being too busy…being too hurt…being too sensitive…not being sensitive enough.  Never feeling like you are good enough . That one thought can take us out of our daily rhythm and  sour a day.  At that point we usually become our harshest critics. Stop. When you feel like you are falling, realize it’s okay, you have fallen before. Now GET THE HELL UP. Find compassion for yourself. Show up. Every day, every hour. For every moment is a new beginning,  an awakening and a blessing. My friend Dave says we find our blessings all around us when we grant ourselves the space to see, share, and reap them. Remember them. Honor them. And revel in them.   Be Present.